A Little Lesson from Maria

Meng Juan and I spent a lovely afternoon the other day watching "The Sound of Music."  Okay, I didn't just watch it...you can't really, can you?  You must stand up and spin around like Maria on that perfect mountaintop, singing at the top of your lungs.  It does a body good!  And how can a gal just sit stoically watching as the Captain, all choked up, sings "Edelweiss" on stage for the last time?  Don't bother trying.  It's humanly impossible.
 But something's been bugging me ever since.  Here's the deal...

Remember the song Captain Von Trapp sings with Maria when they finally figure out they love each other?  It's called "Something Good."  It's the song my kids get up and make popcorn to.
The words I'm stumbling over go like this:
 "For here you are standing there, loving me.  Whether or not you should.
 So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good."

Did you catch it?  Do you see my niggling little problem?  I used to feel this way when it came to my relationship with Jesus!  If good things happened, I must have done something good.  Bad things?  I must have NOT done something good.  My relationship was built on performance and a fickle god.  Would he see that I deserved to have something good happen to me?  Could I hide when I failed so something bad wasn't thrust upon me by this god who says he is love?
 
This fickle, scorekeeping god is NOT the Jesus I know, not the God of the Bible, not the Father who overwhelmingly and extravagantly loves me!  I was reminded of that while watching Maria and the Captain, and I am so thankful.  Thankful that I don't have to perform for His Love.  Thankful that I don't need to play the comparing game.  You know, the one that has no winners.  Sadly, I needed to hear this little message of love from Holy Spirit.  I needed to be reminded because I was falling back into that frame of mind that looks at stuff going on around me and thinks, "Hmm...why is this happening?  Did I do something wrong?  Did I misstep somewhere? "

Haven't I been smothered in Jesus' love enough not to go there?  Yes.
Haven't I been told time and again by a patient, faithful Daddy that no matter what, He loves me?  Yes.
Haven't I "stolen His heart with one glance of my eyes?"  Yep.  (By the way, see Song of Songs 4:9.)
I don't have to strive!  I live out of His Love for me!  He loves me and I can rest in that!

And I haven't even mentioned Christmas...
Emmanuel...."God With Us"  That's it.  That's all I need.  He is with me, for me, and in me.  What could be better?
I will always be thankful for Maria and her Captain.  I will always remember the gentle message sent to me through them as they sang in the gazebo.  I am loved genuinely, uniquely, amazingly, fully, and faithfully by Jesus of Nazareth, God With Me.  I do not and cannot earn this radical love.  I rest in Him because that's all I need to do.  Rest and Receive.  Good gifts for this Christmas, don't you think?

Thought Life

There was a poster that used to hang in my office that read...

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

If this is true then thoughts are powerful things because they ultimately shape our destinies. Who we become in life is largely determined by what we think about ourselves, what we think about God, and what we think about the world around us.

The Scripture agrees. In Proverbs 23:6-8 wisdom tells us, "Do not eat the bread of a miser, nor desire his delicacies; for as he thinks in his heart, so is he. 'Eat and drink!' he says to you, but his heart is not with you. The morsel you have eaten, you will vomit up, and waste your pleasant words (NKJV)."

See, the miser thinks he does not have enough; he is poor by his own way of thinking. You, on the other hand, might crave his delicacies thinking he has an abundance to share. Politely the miser would say to you, "Eat and drink!" but in his heart he would resent you for it and would most likely let you know about it someway or another. And you would depart not as friends but sick to your stomach for having wasted kind words on the miser's accomplishments.

The miser thought he was poor though he was rich. The other thought he was in need though he was rich in character compared to the miser. Each had a distorted view of themselves, their God, and the world around them.

How about you? What do you think about yourself? Are you a victim or a victor? What do you think about God? Is he a loving heavenly Father who cares for his children or is he a harsh judge who can't wait to punish those who break his commands? And what do you think of the world around you? Is it a desolate wasteland or a land of opportunity?

As for me - to be honest - sometimes I think I'm a victim even when I know that by his grace Jesus has made me a victor. Sometimes I question God's love because of the difficult circumstances facing me and wonder if I'm being punished for some reason I can never seem to find. And sometimes I think the problem is with my external world and not my inner one.

The bottom line is we become what we think. Right thinking leads to right living.

Be encouraged,

Jay

If You Don't Know the Words, Hum!

Guess it's time to change the name of our blog, huh?  (Thank you, by the way, for your patience in waiting for a post.  We couldn't blog in Papua New Guinea, and life has been kind of like a puzzle since we've returned to Chewelah....I do not enjoy puzzles!)
I was thinking of something like "Our Season of Humming". The music is still there, we're just quietly humming now because we are a bit--okay a lot--unsure of the words right now.  You know how you have those gosh darn expectations that don't quite come to fruition?  That's where we're living for now...nope, I take that back.  We're just visiting there, not living.  Waiting is such a hard space to be in sometimes....
Since I'm waiting, I thought I'd share a couple of things, things I'm processing through.  Oh, lucky you, I'm a verbal processor!
I was reading in Isaiah the other day and hit chapter 61 verse 3, the "garment of praise" verse.  I got this picture that has been very helpful to me as I ponder what the Lord is doing in our lives in this time of waiting and humming.  I'm standing in front of my closet looking for something to wear for the day.  (This is not something I enjoy.  Can moms have uniforms?)   I have quite a few choices, but each one seems to belong to one of two categories--praise or heaviness.  The big picture?  You, Susie, have a choice to make.  What are you going to wear today?  A beautiful, colorful garment of praise?  Or that dingy, ugly spirit of heaviness?  Honestly, some days I choose the heaviness cloak.  Dumb, I know, but I still make that choice.  The crazy part is I go throughout my day wondering why I feel so discouraged, so far from God.  It's not taking as long to figure it out...that's good news! :)

The other gentle reminder from the Lord entails changing my metaphors.  One of our speakers in our Crossroads class told us we could do that; we could change the metaphors we use to describe our lives.  Is the metaphor I'm using propelling me forward toward God or shutting things down for me?  I told someone the other day that I was feeling very abandoned.  I pictured myself on the vast open sea on a rough, spindly little wooden raft with God nowhere in sight.  Mmmmm....that's a great, life-giving picture, isn't it?  So, the other day I asked the Lord for a different picture, a better metaphor for how I'm feeling.  Here's what I got...
I'm at a train station.  I'm still alone, but I am doing something.  I'm waiting for a train, a train that will take me on a trip for which I have been prepared.  I am excited because (I know you're there already) the Lord is the train engineer!  He's coming and with him comes possibilities and adventure!
  What are you walking through in your life right now?  Good things?  Hard things?  Would a change in metaphors help take every thought captive and subject it to Christ?
 Are you wearing clothes that don't fit you?  I lost fifteen pounds while away and my jeans are a bit baggy.  (I can't quite get it right--I'm baggy when skinny is in and skinny when baggy is in! :)  I don't like wearing clothes that don't feel good. My praise clothes are always perfect, whereas those heavy ones are too tight, too loose, too something.
 Tomorrow is a new day where we all have to choose clothes to wear.  What is your hand going to reach for?  I am choosing that garment of praise.  I'm going to slip it on, button it up, smooth it down and stand on that train station platform and wait with my eyes and heart fixed toward Jesus.  Maybe you'll notice me.  I'll be leaning forward waiting and watching....and humming...

Pieces of Heaven

Here it is 5:30 in the morning the day we leave for our Papua New Guinea outreach.  The room is quiet, a rooster is crowing somewhere outside, and there is a lovely breeze gently blowing our curtains.  Ahhh....my favorite time of the day....  Life these past couple of weeks has been so busy I haven't had time to blog, but I wanted to get one out before our big departure.


I was wondering what to put here on this blank page.  Kinda reminded me of high school English class. You know, "Write about something creatively.  You have twenty minutes."  All the amazing things you could think to write about are sucked out of your brain at that moment!  Don't worry. I'll think of something.  :)  I think the hard part is paring all my thoughts and all of our experiences down to one page each time.  How can I sift through everything we've been learning, hearing, walking in?  My reminder to myself?  I don't need to.  One step, one story, one adventure at a time, right?

The other day I was walking through our common courtyard area on my way from supper.  What struck me was the lovely mix of people I passed.  There was a beautiful, blonde girl skyping with a loved one in Norwegian.  (No, I don't speak Norwegian, but her tones and facial expression helped me  quite a bit.)  On a phone a few feet from her was a young man chatting away in Korean, probably to someone far away.  Walking quietly around the perimeter of the courtyard was an older Chinese lady reading her Bible out loud in Mandarin.  (I saw the blue Bible.  It's Chinese.  I have one.)  Then there was me.  I'm American, speaking English living next door to a family from Brazil.

As I have walked through this campus for three months the diversity and blends of all the people are what touched me the most some days.  I love how God made us all so different!  I love how God made us all the same!  What a beautifully aromatic sense of heaven.  All nations, tongues, and tribes coming together to worship The King!  Pieces of heaven right here, right now....

We are moving into the next leg of our journey, our "Season of Singing."  What does God have in store for us in the "Land of the Unexpected" as Papua New Guinea is mysteriously called?  Who will we meet that will strengthen us, touch us, mold us into Christlikeness?  Who will we meet that we will be a blessing to?  What piece of heaven will we get to know?  We're all excited in this not-so-quiet room. We're ready for the next part of our adventure!  We're ready to be not ready, to be tipped off balance a bit so we can sense the Lord near us as he steadies us and holds us close.

Thank you for praying for us so far and please continue.  Your robust, heartfelt chats with Jesus on our behalf have made such a difference for us, and if I may be so bold to add, to you too.  We take you with  us into this land where we will meet people now that you will meet in heaven some day.  Cool, huh?

Gotta go catch a plane.  Love you all!  Be blessed this day.  Look for your own pieces of heaven in those around you today.  Love them, listen to them, hug them.  Sounds corny, I know, but I think corny is good now and again.
Aloha, Susie

Stop. Jump. Run.

Who knows the most quoted line of "Lilo and Stitch?"  Let's all say it out loud now....
"Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind."
We are so thankful and honored that you are all a part of our ohana, our YWAM family.  Because of your prayer support, your financial gifts, and your love in numerous other ways we are going to Papua New Guinea!!  Woo Hoo!  No one is getting left behind either.  We take you with us as we set our foot in the new land (for us) of PNG.

In our last blog I asked for pray-ers to pray, givers to give, and watchers to watch and be amazed.  We, too, were watching and the Lord did amaze us as he took what seemed like a hopeless case of financial impossibility and created an opportunity for him to show us what the impossible looks like in HIS hands.

I must be honest, though, and confess that my faith was pretty small.  I keep seeing myself and my family running a race, the 400 m. hurdles to be exact.  Each difficult thing in our lives seems to feel like a hurdle.  Have you ever watched first-time hurdlers?  They look very ready from the start line.  They're doing the whole shaking-the-leg-one-at-a-time thing, pretending to start and jogging back to the start line.  The gun goes off and they each dash out of their place with eagerness and expectation of a big win.  Then....the first hurdle.  They get up to it and .....eeeerrrrrcccchhhh....stopping occurs as they try to jump over the hurdle.  Some of them make it and go on to the next only to do the very same thing.  Stop. Jump. Run.  Stop. Jump. Run.  Hurdles are knocked over, knees are scraped, and the eager expectations?  Gone in a flash.

  I have also seen really good hurdlers.  The difference as far as I can see is in the response to the hurdle. The good hurdlers, the ones who are there to run the race and finish strong, don't stop at the hurdle and heft their bodies over in a lurchy jump.  They glide over the hurdles, looking like that hurdle is not even there.  It's a beautiful thing to see, actually.  The gait never changes, but the response does.  Their bodies stretch out and sail over the hurdle in one fluid motion.  Then, the best part?  They look forward to the next one!

 Man, I want to be that kind of hurdler!  I want to sail over those obstacles in my life and keep my head up while I fearlessly look for the next one.  I want to only look to my race, not my neighbors, as the Lord leads and guides me.  I want to keep running until I'm done never looking back to the last race or the last missed opportunity.

I am so thankful and blessed that God is long suffering, aren't you?  He was very patient with me as I ran up to that hurdle called finances and...... eeeeerrrrrccccchhhhh.....stopped for a bit, but only for a bit.  I'm thankful He gave me the nudge to keep going, to jump and try again.  I am also thankful that, like those beginning hurdlers, I have people in the stands encouraging and cheering for me,  telling me the truth of who God is and what he has sent us here to do.  How could any of us do this race without people who are for us?

Guess what?  I'm getting ready for another hurdle.  I can't quite see it yet, but I know it's out there and you know what?  Right now I'm feeling pretty ready to take it on.  I'm all stretched out.  I've practiced.  My people are in the stands.  I'm ready.  How about you?  I'm in the stands for you while you are there for me.  Life hurdle races are like that...we can be doing both things at once.  I see you in your little spandex thing ready to go. (Pardon me while I giggle a bit. :)  Blast out of there and sail over that next hurdle!  I'll encourage you and delight in what the Lord does as your gait changes  from a "stop.jump.run." hurdler to a sailing hurdler.  And when we're done and the race is over  the best part is....the glory all goes to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith!

Aloha, friends.  I'll be looking for you in the stands and on the track.  On your mark, get set...GO!

George or Frank?

I know...you're thinking, "My!  That Susie is quite the prolific blogger this week."  Actually, this is a "response" blog.  I wasn't planning on writing one so soon, but you know...the Lord and all.....

We have been in an "asking of the Lord" season here lately.  We are dealing with some financial issues and were busy asking the Lord how He wanted us to handle them.  Meng Juan and I just finished an amazing book about George Mueller.  George was a man who needed lots of money to take care of lots of orphans in Bristol, England.  He felt the Lord telling him to NOT ask any person for any of his needs, but to go directly to Jesus for every need he had.  What wild, crazy miracles George and the orphans experienced!  Then there's Frank, Franklin Graham, another Godly man who needs lots of money to do great things for the Lord in Samaritan's Purse.  Franklin sends out letters letting people know his needs and trusts the Lord to speak to the ones who can and will give.  Hence, our dilemma.  Who are we supposed to be like in this need of ours, Lord?  George or Frank?

Just this morning we feel like God gave us the second of our confirmations in the form of a note of exhortation from a friend.  We took all of that back to the Lord and this morning during out quiet times both Jay and I sensed the Lord's heart in letting us be "Franks" and bringing our need to you, our friends and family, our team.

We are so thankful for those of you who have come on board this ride with us as part of our team.  I think of Luke and football and know that there are many different positions on a team that need to work together for the touchdowns to be scored.  There are quarterbacks, running backs, kickers, cheerleaders, and lots of others.  (A shout out to all of my ex-cheerleader sisters!  I'm typing this while doing the splits, by the way....not really.)  We couldn't do what we've done without you.  You are such blessings!

As we've been moving toward Papua New Guinea (PNG), our leaders have been doing their best to get our tickets priced and purchased.  It has been a challenge, but finally we have our tickets and we're set to leave June 23.  The only little glitch in the system is the price of tickets.  Our budget and the price do not match.  Airfare is crazy!  So, team, this is where you come in!  We are needing $6500 by June 1st to pay for our whole outreach.  Here's what we're asking:  Prayers, Pray!  Givers, Give!  Watchers, Watch and see what the Lord does!  He is an amazing  miracle working God!

We know God has us here and wants us to finish the race he has set before us.  We're not sure how that will happen, but we wanted to be obedient and let you know our need and let the Lord take it from there.  Faith is a-risin'! :)  If sowing into this is what you hear the Lord saying to you, send your check to Rally Point Ministries at PO Box 320  Chewelah, WA 99109

Aloha and blessings to you all!  You are the peanut butter to our jelly and we love you all very much!  

The Honu Challenge

There's something happening here June 2 called the Honu Triathlon.  Lance will be here and other great athletes trying to secure a spot in the Ironman race in October.  I think I'd like to do an Ironman triathlon.   (Even though I can't see you, I know there are two responses  happening right now.)  Some of you loving, encouraging friends are saying something like, "You go, Susie!  I know you can do it!"  Others of you are laughing your heads off because you know me too well....I'll give you a moment to catch your breath.....
I think I'd like the swimming portion, at least for part of it, unless the water's too cold.  The whole running a marathon thing?  Nope.  Biking?  Well, I can't seem to find the perfect bike seat, so I guess I shan't do that part either.  Okay, so I don't want to do an Ironman at all.  And anyway, I'd rather do a race that's called IronWoman...unless it has to do with ironing.  (Consider the rambling done, but there was a point, in a way.)

Have you ever heard a message that was really good, but the part that really stuck out for you was some wacky little detail that was said in passing?  That happened for me this past Sunday at church.  Pastor Tex was sharing about families and how to build up strong, healthy discipleship centers in our families so the next generation would be thrust out in confidence.  "Did you know," he said, "that the Honu (green sea turtle) cannot go backwards?  It can only go forwards."  Huh!?  He lost me for the rest of the sermon.  I had green sea turtles on my mind and wondered what the whole "no going backward" thing was all about.
Here's what came to me as I pondered (dare I say meditated?) on it for the last couple of days.

 We have little Tommy Turtle swimming around in the deep blue sea off the Big Island of Hawaii.  He is a beautiful animal created by God and has a purpose and reason for being who he is.  He decides to come ashore to rest and get warm.  He is a cold-blooded animal after all and the water can get chilly.  (See why I don't want to do the whole swimming portion?)  Tommy gets to the sandy beach and starts to crawl.  He...is....v e r y....s l o w....But, because God created him in such a way, Tommy cannot back up.  He can only go forward.  No retreat, no surrender is his motto.  Also, unlike other turtles, Tommy the Green Sea Turtle cannot retract his head, tail, or limbs into his shell.  He's all out there all the time.

 I think that's who we're supposed to be in the Kingdom, little Tommy and Tammy Turtles.  We are no retreat, no surrender folks who are so excited about who God is in our lives and how much he loves every one around us that we can't imagine heading backwards.  When we're weary, we rest, but we don't give up.  We are "all out there" people, sharing the love of Jesus by being who he created us to be in joy and transparency.  Are you retracting into your shell?  Are you trying to back down the beach getting all confused and mixed up because it's not going so well?  I know I've been there...and not "back in the old days," but fairly recently.  Sometimes retracting and retreating feels so good and safe, but we all know it isn't.  We vaguely remember a verse in Philippians 3 that says, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
  This week I'm committed to pressing on, to looking ahead and not back, to being "all out there" in peoples' lives as I live fully in each and every moment with them.  Come with me, won't you?  Maybe we won't win the Honu Ironman prize (It's $15,000 by the way, which doesn't seem anywhere near enough for all that work!), but what a grand life we'll live.  What a well-spent life we'll share.  I think the world, your world, the world in which God has placed each of us, needs Tommy and Tammy right about now.  Move forward, be all out there, rest and be who God created you to be and see what he does through you and in you!  Have a super week!